Putin Tells Trump To Stop Tweeting and Come to Bed

NEW YORK—President-Elect Trump has been anxious about his upcoming inauguration and was up late again last night on Twitter blasting out insults to various minorities and world leaders as usual. Fortunately for him one world leader has his back – and in fact even a back rub waiting for him in bed when he is ready to call it a night.

Putin called out to him from the bed, “Donald… oh Donald… please come to bed my love… you have had enough with the Twittering tonight. You won already! Time for good sleep before your big day.”

Any remnants of the Cold War would be heating up this evening and all missile defense systems were down. Vladimir continued, “I feel like it’s time you told everybody about us, I hate having to hide like this”. Donald kept Tweeting away as he wrapped up a key insult to China, struggling at times to make sure he correctly offended 1.3 billion people.